My IT Moment

So we have taken the concept of positive thinking and attitude to a whole new level since my other half’s car accident.  As my 5 year old and I head out to the car, his father sees us to the door and together we recite Psalm 118:24.  “This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.”  (NKJV).  When we get into the car, my son’s godfather, who has been a heaven sent blessing taking him to and picking him up from school also recites this verse with us before we say a quick prayer heading off into our day.  Words in general have enormous power. 

When my husband was in a car accident earlier this year, January 24^th to be exact, the verse he couldn't escape was James 1:2-3.  “Consider it pure joy…whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”  (NIV).  Usually these days the reaction most people have to our family is “OMG, you guys just can’t catch a break.”  Yeah sometimes it does feel like that.  If it’s not a person then it’s something or other that’s usually going wrong.  But I have to say, that verse did give us both pause.  

It’s hard not to listen when God speaks specially when your arm is broken and four of your ribs are cracked.  The road thus far hasn't been easy.  I won’t bore you with the details because to be honest, the shorter version of this story is the one that has any meaning at all if any.  We've managed with help from family and friends to get here.  But this story isn't really about me or us.  If my mother was here this is the story I would be sharing with her excitedly.  She would get it, and marvel at it with me. 

Jesus said to his disciples in Mark 10:14-15 “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. ¹⁵ Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” (NIV)  Lately my 5 year old has been very intrigued about Sunday school, the Bible for Kids app on my tablet, and Chris Tomlin’s song, “Whom Shall I Fear.”  Not sure how the 5 year old mind works so far be it for me to deny him when he wants to go to Sunday school or do his Bible for Kids app or listen to that song for the 1000^th time. 

He’s been on the precipice of something and I wasn't quite sure what exactly.  I was eager to get him to salvation and accepting Christ.  His father pointed out that salvation is more than just saying what is called the “sinner’s prayer” in Christian circles.  It’s a point of acceptance at the wonder of who God is.  It’s that moment when you realize that you are loved by this amazing God so much that He sent His son to die in your place. 

So did we try to explain this to our son?  Yes of course, since the moment he was old enough to ask about the whole Easter business.  That was a few years ago.  He was quite young and I’m not really sure what his 3 year old brain thought about such things.  Earlier this evening, I had a choice to make.  As my father and sister-in-law headed off to the Friday night prayer service at our church I had to decide whether or not it would be worth my while to go to church today.  After all I have made this renewed commitment to seek after Him whom my heart loves beyond all else. 

I was tired and feeling lazy.  After everything else, I really just wanted to head over to the diner and hang out with my family.  Which is what we ended up doing.  Then something amazing happened.  It was so subtle, that I could have missed it if I had blinked. 

Christopher:  Daddy do you know what would make God really sad?

Daddy:  What?

Christopher:  If you said “I don’t love you God.”

Me:  That is true.

Christopher:  I will never say that, because I love Him so much.

Breathe my heart.  Inhale, exhale.  As Jesus said to his disciples when they tried to turn the little children away, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. ¹⁵ Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”  Mark 10:14-15 (NIV)

If I had to do it all again, I would, in a heartbeat oh God.  You have made me glad.  The sorrow will last for the night because as you promised, my joy will come in the morning.  How can I have anything but joy as I face these trials set before me?  I know you are with me every step of the way.  Where ever I go, you will never leave me or forsake me.  How can I regret anything in my life when you have showered me with such abundant beauty and grace? 

I sat there and finished my dinner.  Tonight was a moment, I never want to forget.  We make choices in life.  I chose not to go into his house tonight but to spend it with my son.  Because of that choice, I got to witness that moment in my son’s life where his young heart was handed over to Christ.  I could hear his name being etched into the Lamb’s book of life.  Maybe I didn't get a lot of things right in my life.  But at least God has allowed me to get this far with amazing grace and mercy. 

That was so my IT moment!

Birthdays in Memorium

So today I turn 37.  That brings me 3 years closer to 40.  Good grief.  I am getting old and I can actually hear my biological clock ticking.  Never thought I’d ever say those words. 

My 1st birthday

Five years ago I realized that birthdays are significant to two people.  Obviously it's important to the person whose birthday it is but it's also a very important day for the woman who gave birth to that person.  I spent my 33rd birthday with my mother at the hospital while she was waiting to have an operation that would remove the tumors they found in her colon.  I walked into her room and the first thing she said to me was happy birthday.  Then she apologized for being in the hospital for my birthday.  It's then that I realized that this day was a shared experience for us both.  This day marked the day her life changed and she became a mother.  I was the one who changed her into a mother.  This was our day. 

My 3rd birthday

My 5th birthday (my brother sharing it with us in utero)

So today I remember the woman who's no longer on this earth.  She the one who brought me into this world and loved me from the moment I drew my first breath and she drew her last.  Mom, I haven't got enough to words to express how much I miss you today.  Here's to the beginning of a lifetime of birthdays without you.  

Maybe my 6th birthday

Could be my 7th birthday